Worst hangover?

We get a call to pick up a 250-lb biker who apparently “fell off his motorcycle” at a stoplight. The cops arrested him for DUI and brought him to the emergency room to be medically cleared before they threw his ass in jail. It turns out his kidneys have failed utterly and his blood built up enough potassium to kill, well, anyone else not drunk.

This, obviously, did not happen overnight. The man practically admits to being a heavy drinker. [Surprise! Surprise!] His blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit. So, you’ve got a man with kidneys that have probably shrunk to the size of peas, potassium in his blood that is probably about the same dose that is given to a death inmate to kill him, and blood alcohol level to make a horse see stars. How, may I ask, did he get on his motorcycle in the first place? See, these are the mysteries of humans that I will never get.

I am still processing this information and quite dumbstruck with disbelief when someone asked: “Don’t you get pretty sick when you’re kidneys fail? Don’t you start feeling pretty weird?”

Well, yes, but the man is drunk every day. He probably thought he was just having the worst hangover ever . . . every day . . . for a week or so . . .