Flight nursing! What a glam job!!! Not!!!!

When we walk into a hospital or even just on the street in our flightsuits, people have preconceived ideas about us. We get the "Wow!!!" looks. The healthcare staff (that includes the housekeeper all the way up to the attending physician) have a lot of feelings when they see us. Some are completely relieved that we have shown up because, now, we can take up care of the patient and a huge load has been taken off their shoulders. Some are resentful because they feel we are just kicking them in the rear and shoving them to the side to care for the patient. Many are very wary because some medical flight crew do have egos the size of Africa and they are not afraid to show it. Most almost faint with nervousness because they are afraid we will criticize them for some crappy decisions they've made while the patient was in their care.

Whatever the feelings or thoughts are of people about us (flight nurses, flight medics, flight respiratory therapists), the one thing that is always true is they have very high expectations of us. They expect us to know what we're doing and that we know how to do them right.

Do you realize how heavy of a responsibility that is? We have to live up to these expectations. When the bar is set very high, keeping it there and being motivated to raise it every now and then can be very challenging. So, what do we do? We keep up with our training and education constantly. We review our processes and performances every day to ensure continued progress and improvement. Is that tiring? Believe it or not, no. This is why we are in this professional specialty because we like that. Call us crazy, but we really enjoy the mental torture. Yeah, some people are truly mentally unbalanced.

The other thing that people think is that we get paid a lot for what we do. You'd think, right? I mean, nurses in general  get paid pretty good money, so flight nurses . . . well . . . they must be rolling in the dough. Okay. So, I would really like to speak to that committee, please, because, somehow, my bank account is not seeing that at all. NO!!!! We do not get paid the exorbitant amount of money that you have in mind. I'm serious. Hospital RNs will laugh at my check if they compared it to theirs. They'd probably think I called in sick for a week and missed work that's why my paycheck looks like that. It is not about the money, folks. It really isn't.

Alright. So, it's not the money. Okay. Then you say: "But your job is so glamorous. Look at the blue flightsuit. It's smoking hot! It's like, wow!!! You have the most awesome job!!"

Cool it! Chill out! or whatever! Listen. First of all, imagine our environment. We go to the hospitals (germs everywhere), have contact with possibly contagious diseases (like the avian flu guy), bodily fluids leaking, spewing, flowing everywhere (most of which we sickeningly and greedily collect and measure), sharp objects in various shapes and sizes (we have protection, like gloves, yeah), dangerous chemicals (some patients are quite happy to have us see those again in regurgitated form), and emotionally-charged people all around us (yes, we occasionally provide emotional support to the nerve-wracked staff in addition to the patients and their families).

Then, we take all of that with us to a claustrophobic environment like a small airplane or helicopter. If we're lucky, the patient weighs 10 pounds and only needs a pacifier, but when does that ever happen? Instead, you get something like a 310-lb woman requiring another 250 pounds in equipment that we have to huff around. By this time, I'm sweating like a boxer after ten rounds. My hair is pasted to my scalp, my sunglasses won't even stay on from the oil slick on my face, my back and muscles are cramping, my brain feels like it went through a blender, I seriously need a breath mint, and my eyes are probably red-rimmed with dark circles under them for being awake for the last 20 hours. Yup, that blue flightsuit is really smoking hot. It's making me feel covered in hot coals. I mean, there is really no point in preening before going to work. Yup! This job is glamorous alright. Does that sound like I'm ready to walk the runway?

Wait! Wait! I'm not done yet. Now the patient is in the aircraft, strapped in, and ready to go. Here is the difference in the working environment of a hospital nurse and a flight nurse. The hospital nurse has a nurses' station available that is static (meaning it remains in one place), quiet (believe me, the beeping equipment is not that loud), and you can walk away if your patient becomes too annoying. {classical music playing in the background}

{very annoying drilling sound in the background}
We have to deal with stuff like VERY LOUD NOISES (aircrafts all around landing and taking off), constant vibration (not pleasurable and certainly incongruent to writing), very close contact with patient (very bad when they feel the need to cough, spit, vomit, or expel bodily wastes down south), and G-forces and turbulence (physiologically draining and sometimes feel like the scariest roller-coaster gone terribly wrong). Still think that's glamorous?