Some people confuse me

We went to pick up a 29-year old girl yesterday who was 24 weeks pregnant. It’s her 5^th pregnancy. She has a little boy at home who is eight. She became “accidentally” pregnant with him and so became a young mother unexpectedly. Shortly after having this beautiful little boy (she showed me a picture), she became pregnant again. She couldn’t afford to have the baby so she had an elective abortion. Years later, she becomes pregnant again. Once more, she has the pregnancy terminated because “I just couldn’t handle another kid then. I just didn’t have the money.”

So, I’m sure you’re asking the same question. Isn’t it cheaper to buy and use contraceptives? You think, right? Exactly. You’re thinking.

Her uterus is pretty thin by now. On her 4^th pregnancy, she miscarries. Now, with this pregnancy, her uterus is so thin and her cervix is weak that she may lose her baby. For those of you who are interested, the medical term for “weak cervix” is incompetent cervix. Weird, huh? But appropriate. The cervix is not strong enough to stay closed to keep the baby in the uterus. Any contractions can bust it open and out comes baby no matter what gestational age it is. Her baby is only 24 weeks. If it comes out, it will not be viable. The development is not quite complete for a fetus that age to survive in the world. Ironically, she really, really wants to keep this pregnancy. She cried a lot.

While scanning her labs, her drug screen catches my eye. She is positive for cannabinoids (for the naïve out there, that means she’s been smoking marijuana). That means she’s been using marijuana while she’s pregnant. Now, you’ve heard people say, “Oh, it’s been a while since I did that. It stays in your system for weeks.” Really? She’s 24-weeks pregnant. If she makes a case of saying that she used it when she wasn’t pregnant, do you think she’ll win? Yeah, exactly.

I’m not being unkind here. I quite sympathize with her and I genuinely hope and pray that she keeps her baby. It’s a little girl. We took her to the best hospital for high-risk pregnancies and she will get the best care there. I took care of her like she was my sister and my best friend. I have this nagging and, sometimes inconvenient, characteristic of empathizing with people so much that I can physically feel their pain. I felt for her. Her guilt weighed in the back of her mind and it will always be there and it will only get worse with another miscarriage.

Often in this job, however, some people truly confuse me. It makes me wonder why people act the way they do, then wonder why they are the way they are today. Even that statement confuses me.