Before dawn comes

It is the wee hours of the morning.

Not too much longer now and the dawn will break.

The sun will stream through the thin slits of the overlapping window blinds.

I have lain awake for hours, sometimes with eyes closed, sometimes staring into the darkness.

Sometimes, I stare at the little blue light of my computer and, in a fugue, wonder what cyberdreams are swimming in its memory.

Random thoughts, memories, feelings, images, and sounds occur in flashes in my brain – some remain to be recognizable, some flit in and out giving a vague familiarity but not certainty of what they are.

In this lonely hour, I chase after you.

I wish for you.

I long for you to engulf me.

Take me somewhere and out of this reality even just for a short while.

Surround me and take me into intangible darkness and let my corporeal self melt into you and make me ethereal.

The harder I chase after you, the more elusive you are.

Aaah!! This is madness!

The thoughts that run through my head are making me sad somehow.

Or perhaps lonely.

Or are they just the manifestations of the release of chemicals and firing of neurons that have reached a point beyond exhaustion?

I sigh with surrender.

Please, I beg you!

Take me before dawn comes.

Why are you so elusive?

Please, Mr. Sandman, sprinkle your dust on me . . .

Sleep . . . come take me . . .